Iyengar, not the Iyengar way

         Love yoga, or so I think, and when I moved to a new country, I tried right away to find a new center to continue my “illumination”, shall I say?:) As long as it does me good and doesn’t make others unhappy I think it’s allright:). Imagine yourself in Paris, where each “arrondissement” has its own cultural print. After some internet research I decided to give a try to the Iyengar center in the 16th “arrondissement” –  the chic, rich, fashion and tourist magnet corner, bathed in the “style Haussmannien”. And the center seemed rich indeed, most of the yoga practitioners as well.

Thinking aloud: ” Will yoga help the lady with the botox lips, repair the damage on her face? Hmmm, maybe it’s a bit too much to hope for… At least I’m sure that the woman with the Prada bag at the class definitely got robbed, and that’s the only one she must hasve  left to carry her yoga mat with… Oh, and why is the teacher Christelle calling us idiots, saying that we shouldn’t be there, at level 2 if we don’t know what “halasana” means? As far as I know, not even all the teachers I had knew all the names, or used the names in Sanskrit. And in fact I prefer classes where we get stuck to the practice, rather than falling into some nonsense accusations. Really? In a yoga class?”

Well, never mind, I felt better afterwards, and the least I could do was to say: “Merci for the class.”  Christelle gave me a “dead fish” look without saying a word. “Hmm, I thought, maybe she didn’t hear me so I repeat again, louder this time: “Merci for the class Christelle( smiling at her). She seems totally annoyed, looks at me,  but doesn’t react at all, totally ignoring my “smiley merci”. I’m mildly said surprised, and think that I shall ask someone what’s with this french attitude I haven’t seen before in a yoga class.

I find out that in French, they call it: “se la péter” –  and if you wonder what it means, it is:(sorry for my vocabulary) “being full of shit”. Did I expect to meet a Yengar yoga teacher being “full of shit”? Not even in my wildest dreams, but I never stop dreaming…

I’m still looking for the perfect yoga center in Paris, in case you wonder.

YES to stress spa

Love to pamper myself, or be pampered for the same matter of fact. So, when I signed up for a whole year at a local sports center with swimming pool, gym and spa facilities, I was looking forward to get the most out of it. Yes, I’d better push myself, and go there at least once a week.

Or, would you spend money on something and never use it?:) Well, it did happen to me, not only in the past; but, that’s another story…:)

So, here I am “running wild” to the spa. A quick jump to the second floor with the lift and I find myself facing a womanlike creature, large in width than in height; with small blue eyes and curly, blonde, shoulder-length hair and rosy-fat cheeks. “Is she promoting the perfect spa woman, I thought to myself?”

She was busy talking with her “alter ego”, but in a darker skin colour –  the cleaning lady. “Isn’t she supposed to keep the center clean, instead of cleaning her tongue, gossiping?”

After a “hello” and a smile I received a towel, which used to have white as a starting colour, and hurried to the changing room. The bikini is on in no-time and I’m ready for the sauna –  I don’t break records, unless I really love something or someone:)…

The heat starts to work wonders along with the sweat  – I feel more relaxed now. After ten minutes I go outside and enjoy the 15 plus temperature and the sunshine on a sunbed, with no one in sight. The two people in the jacuzzi don’t seem to eager to start sunbathing, maybe it’s a bit too early in the middle of november?!

“Oh, someone has just taken my towel, and left their own while I was showering! No problem, I think”. I ran in bikini to the lady at the desk: still chatting with the cleaning lady and a man employee. ” Is this an informal reunion in the hall?”…

“Sorry, can I get another towel, someone has taken mine by mistake?”

“No, I don’t do that, there’re more people coming in the afternoon, and you should be responsible!”

“No, I didn’t faint to that never unheard argument, I just decided not to argue this time, and go back to the sauna, without any towel, and calm down. Should I be responsible for someone else’s stupidity? And what spa is this one to stress customers, by refusing them a towel?”

There’s a sign, black on white saying that customers “should use a towel while using the sauna or the steam room.”

Well, I’d rather sit in the sauna in bikini and burn my bottom, than sit on a stranger’s wet towel…